Have you ever been thinking about a change that you want to make in your life and said, “I need to do or stop doing_________, I should do/or stop doing ___________, or I have to do/stop doing ___________!” I’m sure you have. I know that I have and still say those words sometimes. But these days, I try to be a little more careful of those words!
For example, I need to stop eating sugar. Go ahead and say that statement aloud to yourself. After you say it, what happens? Do you start to think about eating sugar, feel a little angry, resentful, deprived, or does any other emotion come up? I’m willing to bet that whatever comes up is some form of RESISTANCE! I want to answer back, “Why? Says Who? I like sugar, and this is going to be hard. I don’t want to do that!”
Call it reverse psychology or whatever you will, but the words, should, have to, or need to, automatically make us resist whatever comes after them in the sentence.
Why is this?
Because we feel like we have no POWER or CHOICE in the matter. Basically, we are operating in someone else’s value system, which might not line up with our values or the choices that we want to make. It’s really hard to take action on something that you don’t value or agree with.
Think back to a time when your parents told you that you needed to do something…….Yeah, how did that go over? You might’ve done whatever they asked, out of respect or to appease them, but deep down there was probably some resentment & resistance, too. You probably procrastinated the task or even argued to not have to do whatever they were asking you to do. Same thing goes for when you tell your spouse, friends, or partners that they need to, have to, or should do something. It usually doesn’t turn out well, right?
Then why in the world would we try it on ourselves and think it will work? If I resist those words when other people say them to me, why would it be any different when the voice/voices in my head (yes, I have more than one) tell me I need to, have to, or should do something?
[bctt tweet=”Our language creates our world. Choose words wisely!”]
[bctt tweet=”The language that we use is a powerful force that makes our goals harder or easier to achieve. “]
These 3 Words Can Change Your Life and How You Set Yourself up for Success With Your Next Goal
Drum Roll Please………The 3 Words that can turn it all around for you when you set your next goal are: I CHOOSE TO do ______________! WOW. It’s really that easy. A simple switch of the words that we use makes such a difference and really brings us into our personal power. We have a CHOICE in the matter. I feel more powerful just writing them.
Why are these words more powerful? Because it’s all about YOU and YOUR VALUE SYSTEM. When you’ve really made a choice to do something that you really WANT to do, excuses or nay sayers, aren’t as likely to bring you down or get in your way. The resistance is gone and all that is left is a positive, open mind in search for solutions.
Let’s Give Those 3 Words a Try
- I choose to eat less sugar.
- I choose to start an exercise program 3 days/week.
Say those statements aloud to yourself. Does it feel a little different than before when we used the word, “need”? Do you feel less resistance?
Let’s Take it Another Step Further
When you really want to stop doing a certain behavior, think of the behavior or habit that you want to start doing more of in place of that activity and insert it after the 3 Main words. What we FOCUS on EXPANDS! I always say it is more important to FOCUS on what we want more of (positive behavior), not what we don’t want (negative behavior).
- Instead of, I choose to eat less sugar———> I choose to eat more whole, natural foods like fruit and veggies.
- Instead of, I choose to stop smoking after I eat———> I choose to chew gum after I eat.
- Instead of, I choose to stop going to Happy Hour after work———> I choose to go to the gym after work.
Remember, goals only work when it is something that YOU really WANT or are CHOOSING to do! You can’t have a goal to lose weight just because someone told you that you need to or should. You have to want it and choose it for yourself, so that you will take the action necessary to achieve that goal.
The next time you catch yourself using the words need to, have to, or should, try swapping them for I CHOOSE TO. Let me know how it goes for you and the results you see in the comments below!
Thanks for stopping by,
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