Do you find yourself feeling DISAPPOINTED A LOT? We’ve all experienced feeling disappointed at one time or another by ourselves, other people, certain outcomes of events, and even things. I’ve felt disappointed with my computer & technology ALOT over the last few months 😉
However, what if I told you that feeling disappointed has nothing to do with anybody or anything else, but YOU….
I know it would be a lot easier to blame others, outcomes, circumstances, or things for the way I FEEL, but disappointment doesn’t actually stem from external sources, but from ourselves.
How do you figure this, you may be thinking? Well, disappointment isn’t a thing, it’s a FEELING. When I think about all the times I’ve felt disappointed in the past, I can usually trace it back to none other than an emotion I’m feeling from some EXPECTATION that I have about someone or something.
Let’s look at the definition of Expectation…
Uh-Oh! There’s that word “should” again. I’ve already wrote about the dangers of using that word here before. When we use “should”, “need to”, or “have to” we are usually operating in someone else’s value system, which may be different than our own.
Or, when we use those words on others, we’re assuming that they operate in the same value system as us. Doesn’t matter, but both can lead to us having certain expectations, that when not met, lead us to feel disappointed.
Isn’t it crazy how we are such EXPECTING BEINGS, too! I find myself doing it all the time! It’s so ANNOYING, but sometimes I just can’t resist it!
We EXPECT a lot from other people, ourselves, and by taking certain actions. We even EXPECT stuff from things that don’t follow any human reasoning, like technology! I EXPECT that shiz to work all the time and do what I want it to do.
We EXPECT that things are always going to go the way we see them going. If I do X then Y “should” happen, right? But, that’s not the way it goes sometimes does it? And then, we usually end up feeling disappointed and defeated.
Instead of EXPECTING things to happen a certain way, why not ANTICIPATE that there are things that are going to happen as a result of our actions, we just might not know exactly when or how it’s going to happen.
Here’s the definition of Anticipation…
Here’s how we can start to shift our perspective from Expectation to Anticipation…
For example, instead of EXPECTING to lose 2 pounds because we ate healthy and exercised every day this week, try ANTICIPATING to lose 2 pounds. You don’t know when it’s going to happen, but you know that it will happen by taking certain daily actions. Can you feel the shift?
When I use or think about the word ANTICIPATION, it feels like less pressure, and I feel a little more excitement. But, what else does it take to be in anticipation? TRUST!
EXPECTATION feels icky like control, black or white, &/or all or nothing! If I do _______ then _______ better happen….OR ELSE!
ANTICIPATION takes TRUSTING in the PROCESS and dipping our toes into uncertainty. It’s a little more uncomfortable at first, but feels more flexible and open to experimentation and feedback.
Let me know what you think? Are you ready to drop ALL the EXPECTATIONS along with the feelings of constant disappointment? Could you give ANTICIPATION a try instead? Remember a small shift in perspective can change everything!
[bctt tweet=”The best way to avoid disappointment is not to expect anything from anyone or anything!”]
Thanks for stopping by,
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