I’d like to talk today about the word ‘NO’ .  This is a hard word for some of us to say and for some of us to hear at times.

However, this 2 letter word is part of our vocabulary and important when communicating with each other, creating healthy boundaries, and to avoid participating in activites that we don’t really want to do. So, I feel that we need to get a little more comfortable with the word.

Don’t you wish saying, NO, was as easy for us to do as a 2 year old.  Most of the time, little ones LOVE to say it over and over again.  They also don’t feel they need to give you an explanation for their NO, either.  Why do we, as grownups?  When did it all start?

Let’s face it, we have a hard time telling our friends, bosses, family, children, and even OURSELVES NO!

Think about that time you knew that you really didn’t NEED that cookie, new shirt, or you didn’t want to work for so & so, but instead of saying NO, you said YES.  This can cause us to feel guilty, resentful, or weak.

Nonetheless, saying YES, when we really wanted to say NO, usually results in us not feeling good or stresses us out!  #aintnobodygottimeforthat

When we say YES to something, when we really wanted to say NO!

We end up taking on too many tasks and activities, and then feel overwhelmed.  This keeps us from doing the things that we are most passionate about.  It creates a TO DO list that no one can ever get through.

It’s okay to say NO to your kids, husbands/wives, boyfriend/girlfriends, co-workers, boss (when it is an optional request), etc.  They will survive and so will you!  Our kids, co-workers, employees, and significant others are way more self-sufficient when forced to be than we give them credit for!

[bctt tweet=”We do ourselves an injustice when we say YES to something that we really want to say NO to. #justsayno”]

Think about how when you wanted a new shirt and you knew you couldn’t afford it or didn’t need it, but you bought it anyways, or you didn’t want the dessert, but you ate it anyways just because it was there….think about how you felt?  Guilty? Weak? Regretful?  We usually don’t end up feeling good about ourselves.  At least, this has been my personal experience.

We give our personal power away when we do not act according to our feelings, wants, and values.  Stay true to yourself by honoring what you really want in your life, and stop worrying about what other people want, need, or think!

It’s always a good idea to ask yourself, “Am I doing what I want to be doing right now, or am I doing something for someone else that is making me miserable, tired, stressed out, etc?”  If we aren’t doing what we want to be doing, we have the choice to change that!

Realize when you do say “NO”, no explanation is necessary!

Sometimes we really want and mean to say NO, but we want to soften the blow to the other person receiving the NO.  It’s like we feel a little guilty for telling someone else NO.  You know this has happened to you before….

I can tell you this one happens all the time with dating.  I didn’t want to hurt his or her feelings, so I say something like, “It’s not you, it’s me.”  Ha!  I’ve said this and been on the receiving end, it equally sucks.

We know it’s not the truth and it just feels icky.  The real explanation really is, “Dude, I’m just not that into you, #sorrynotsorry.”  Now, I also don’t believe we have to be this harsh with people, but sometimes just a plain and simple ‘NO’ is appropriate with no reason or justification.  People can just tell when we are not being straight with them.

Sometimes our reason or justification comes off as inauthentic, or people can just tell that we are pulling excuses out of our assess.  There may even be times that you say NO to someone than precede to give them a reason that comes off as judgey or takes a little dig at them personally.

Take it from me, sometimes a simple NO is all that is needed.  The more we go on and on about why the reason is no, the deeper the rabbit hole goes.

I invite you to start to say NO without a reason or justification.  The answer to a request or question might be just NO, or No Thank You, or Thank you for offering, but I don’t want that, or I don’t want to do/go ________…PERIOD! ENOUGH SAID!

How can we handle receiving a NO better!

We don’t like to be told NO, either.  Especially when we really want a YES to our request or question.  I get it, and I’ve been there.  However, I think that there are a couple of things to remember here:

• If someone tells you NO to participating in an activity with you.  Find someone else who is a YES.  Just because 1 person is a NO, doesn’t mean that no one wants to participate in your fun shennanigans! 😉
• Also, be respectful when others tell you NO.  We don’t have to take it personally and we could be more empathetic that the person has a good reason/s for declining.

[bctt tweet=”The more we respect others when they say NO to us, the more we will be respected when we say NO.”]

I invite you to get a little more comfortable with saying or hearing the word, NO! It’s just a word, and we don’t have to take it personally!

Thanks for stopping by,
Tommie

P.S.  However, don’t say, “NO” to healthy eating because you’re tired of not knowing what to eat to reach your health and fitness goals!  Grab a FREE copy of my Lean Eating Guide HERE!