The Biggest Misconception You Have About Confidence


Confidence is not an IF THEN…phenomena.


We all want to feel more confident.  However, we think that we can’t feel confident, happy, or motivated until we change something about ourselves or attain something that is external from ourselves…


For example, I’ll feel more confident to do ___________ when I have a better body, a better relationship, more money, more education, a better job, etc.


We have been led to believe that once we have these “things” in place that we’ll feel happy, loved, confident, and worthy.


But, guess what…it’s never enough is it? It’s an endless cycle of DO more to get more of ____________.


I know this misconception to be true from first hand experience in the gym world.  Everyone thinks that they’ll feel more confident when they reach their physique or performance goal….But guess what, it’s like we never arrive…There’s always the next level to get to before we can give ourselves permission to feel a certain way…


When we do this, we TOTALLY miss the point of what confidence is.


CONFIDENCE is the result of TAKING ACTION, even when we feel scared, fearful, or unsure.  CONFIDENCE is the willingness to be rejected and knowing deep down that we’ll either SURVIVE or SUCCEED!


Once you take that first step, and you truly see that you’ll survive or succeed, then you feel more confident to take more action…and the cycle keeps feeding forward.


Bottomline, you become more confident taking action during the process of the goal, not by actually achieving the goal.


Feeling More Confident Starts with a Small Action Step To:

  • learn something new on a subject or hobby that you’re interested in
  • lift a heavier weight at the gym
  • try a new class at the gym
  • ask for a raise
  • start a business or side hustle
  • have a difficult conversation
  • speak up in a meeting
  • start exercising
  • cook one healthy meal a day
  • ask a question when you don’t understand something
  • stand up straight with your head and chest up w/ shoulders back & down (super easy)
  • listen to a song of your favorite artist and borrow some of their confidence

The list goes on and on…


To feel more confident, just START taking ACTION, no matter how big or small!


One of the ways that I’ve been embodying confidence this year is through taking Improv (unscripted comedy) from Finest City Improv and Dance Lessons from Glitter Tribe Studios.  Two things that I had no real experience with, but was just curious about how they could add more joy and fun to my life.



I was uncomfortable and felt unsure of myself in the beginning, but each time I practiced or showed up for my lessons, I felt a little bit more confident, which made me want to keep going, growing, and learning.


Now, it’s your turn to expand your comfort zone.  Let me know in the comments below what action step you plan to take in the next week that will improve your confidence.


Talk Soon,